Feeling sad.. and blessed..

These past few days have been particularly emotional. I have tried to avoid watching the news and seeking out information about the tragedy that occurred in Newtown. It physically and emotionally hurts to think about what those families lost and to think about the heroes who put their lives on the line to protect those sweet children- I've always appreciated teachers, but this takes it to a whole new level. Jimmy has been keeping up with the latest news and sharing some of it with me, but I can't do it. I've said before but as therapist (I still identify as one despite not working as one right now), I know how to stay in my head and protect my heart so that I keep myself together and I know that I have to stay away from knowing too much or thinking too much about sad things.... I feel much deeper since Landon was diagnosed... I experience emotions in a very intense way, not only since becoming a mom, but again, since Landon was diagnosed. With all that being said, we are reminded to count our blessings... Landon continues to thrive and love school, he is eating well and when weighed by his Nutritionist last week had gained almost 1 pound in 5 weeks! He is about 24lbs now. I realized yesterday that he has gained about 10lbs since he was diagnosed a year and a half ago. How incredible is that? I think we are going to continue to see a nice spike in weight gain in these upcoming months because he is still getting 900 calories a day from formula (through the syringe- no longer through the feeding tube, remember...) but he is eating so well so is getting lots of calories every day! A few things that we are currently working on with Landon is getting him to slow down when he eats and not stuff his mouth with food. This is fairly typical for an 2 year old, but it's not what we want to encourage. We also are working on getting him to handle pureed foods better (yogurt, pudding, applesauce).. The irony in this is that many people have asked me why we aren't starting fresh with him and going back to pureed foods. That's what we start babies on, right? Well, pureed foods aren't so easy for those with G tubes who by nature of the tube, can experience respiratory issues. It doesn't feel comfortable to eat pureed foods. It makes sense to me now because Landon ate pureed foods prior to getting a G tube but after he was diagnosed and came home with the G tube he had no interest. I have said this before but our Landon is quite a little comedian. I always say that he is a combination of Jimmy and I- Jimmy likes to make people laugh and I'm very easily entertained (that's why our relationship works so well!)... Landon lives to be silly and make us laugh, but so easily laughs that big belly laugh that leaves Jimmy and I laughing ourselves. At the early age of 2, he found a friend who thinks he is hilarious so Landon is sure to be silly with Jack so that he can get a good laugh out of him! Landon has taken a liking to Sansa (aka Santa)- from afar (he will not get too close and we could not get Christmas pictures taken with Santa this year) and enjoys our new Elf on the Shelf tradition. He wakes up in the morning and asks "Where Elf?" Jimmy and I are REALLY enjoying the holiday season this year because of Landon... And lastly, we are getting ready to welcome Jordan to our family. He will be here in 4-5 weeks and we're sure that Landon is going to be a wonderful big brother (it may take some time and patience to adjust). He is going to fit the role just fine... See- I told you that we are very blessed!