My Grown Up Christmas List

I haven't posted much because, honestly, I'm still trying to learn to balance my time between mommy stuff, work and keeping up with the house and laundry. The ten minutes it takes for me to update this blog sometimes feels like another thing to do. With that being said, I had a realization this morning and feel so blessed for the life I have despite feeling overwhelmed at times. Honestly, I am so lucky that I am to be able to stay home with my boys and be the one to do all of the things with them during the day. Then I have an awesome husband who picks right up when I get home, and I go off to meet with kids and their families as a behavioral therapist. I just joined a gym so am committed to being healthy and getting the rest of this baby weight off. It's good.. so good. This morning was uneventful and for the most part, a good morning. Lately Landon has told me that he does not want to go potty in the morning before he goes to school because he likes using the bathroom at school. It's child size and he thinks it's pretty cool to do it all by himself. I usually agree to this, but its so difficult to take him to the bathroom at school because Jordan is so active and busy so the extra step of taking him to the bathroom at school after getting both boys in and out of the car, coats off then back on only to take Landon's coat back off and put it in his cubby sometimes feels like a ton of work! I told Landon, this morning, that I wanted him to go potty at home and that he could go potty with his teacher before snack at school. Landon was NOT happy! The result was a very upset Landon, a very frustrated mommy, and a bit of yelling and ultimatums being given.Once in the car he calmed down and I calmed down so by the time we made the 3 minute commute to school I apologized for yelling. He became very frustrated again as we walked past the bathroom at school. I remained calm and asked him if he wanted to sit on my lap for a bit before he went into school. Well, Jordan took his opportunity to grab at his big brother which made Landon even more upset. He finally calmed down enough to go into his class room and Jordan and I left to conquer our to do list. Fast forward to this afternoon, we got home from school and I gave the boys lunch. Out of no where, Landon came to me and said, "Mommy, doggie (he is a doggie at times) say sorry. Doggie want to go potty at school." It made me smile that he was making an attempt to make amends after our episode this morning. I sat him on my lap and asked him if he felt mad at me this morning. He said yes and that he wanted to go potty at school. I told him that I'm sorry that we had a tough morning and that we both got mad. I then told him that it's really hard for me to take him to the potty at school and that I really want him to be a good listener and go potty at home and then he can go at school with his teacher. He agreed, for now at least. So, I wondered, when did he get so big? He really is just the sweetest little boy, ever. We had the boys' pictures taken yesterday with our great friend who happens to be a great photographer! About 8 months ago, when we attempted Easter pictures with both boys, Landon cried and absolutely refused to sit where we asked him to sit. Yesterday, he happily sat, cuddled his baby brother and gave us the biggest smile. Jimmy and I beamed with delight and shook our heads as we watched our big boy stand, with one hand in his pocket and pose for a picture, looking so grown up. So, if you have been wondering, Landon has been doing so, so well. He is eating better, less shy and anxious and is becoming more mature by the day. I think of the song "My Grown Up Christmas" list.. I struggle to think of anything tangible that I want for Christmas. Could I use clothes, make up, perfume, decor for our house, a gift card to go out for dinner or for a massage? Sure. But it's so true when they say that money and things cannot buy happiness. Our happiness is these two awesome little boys who make life so complicated at times, but so full of joy and laughter. My life is so complete with these three guys in my life and such wonderful family and friends. If I don't update again before the new year, Happy Holidays, Happy New Years and I hope yours is filled with as much joy and laughter as we have in the Hartz home. With love, Lauren