Just a mom, not a stalker...

It's been a while since I updated this blog and as I have said before, no news is good news. We had a fun and busy summer. I started my own private practice so have been figuring that out in lots of ways. Our big news is that Landon has started kindergarten. He is doing great so far and seems to enjoy being there. He is definitely happy to see us when he gets home but really does seem happy. Today was the first full day. His nurse invited me to come at lunch time, when he is due for his medicine, to give it to him while she observes. Quite frankly, she has worked in the ER and OR at Children's Hospital and she had instructions for how we do it so I am quite certain she invited me to come for my sake and not so much for hers! I can't tell you how eager I have been all morning to get to that school to see him. I dropped Jordan off with his grammy an hour before I had to be there and drove 10 minutes to school not forgetting to stop to grab a cup of coffee because we ran out and today is not a good day to not have coffee for this mommy. Oh, and side note, Jordan now calls me "Mummy" and it is the cutest thing I have ever heard. Anyway, I pull up in the parking lot and think to myself, "boy, I wish that they were playing at the playground" which can be viewed from the parking lot. Bummer! And then within a few moments, I see little people parade outside toward the playground from the school. *cue the angelic choir* I can't see them so I very casually drive down the driveway, not like a stalker, and I see my boy's "best friend" whose name he can never recall. Landon expressed a bit of worry last night about not being able to find his BFF and we talked about the possibility that he might not and what he can do if he doesn't. I looked behind the BFF to see Landon, marching with his backpack on and hanging on to his lunch box. Aghh!!!!! My boy!!!!! Then I hoped that they would find each other because of course Landon could never locate and connect his BFF without mom near him (despite the fact that they met and connected without me having anything at all to do with it). I made a circle and continued back up to the parking lot, choosing a spot that would allow me a view of my sweet boy playing. I watched. I texted BFFs mom to give her the news. And I cried. And cried. I was so grateful, and I missed him so much. I then left my spot to move closer to the school because I had a lot to carry and I didn't want him to see me prematurely. I sat patiently, making small talk with the school nurse (who is just perfect for the role she is in) and then I heard his voice. I walk out to see him looking a little worried. I squeezed him tight as he told me that he doesn't know where his lunch box and back pack are. The playground monitor informed me that they had dropped those items off at his locker (although I don't think he realized that and was worried that he lost them). We showed Ms. M how we put meds through his Gtube. It took a few minutes to look through a book and we squeezed again and parted ways. This is an adjustment for Landon but my sweet boy is so brave and so resilient- so much more than his mom. For the first time in my life, I feel like a piece of me is walking around separate. I am so grateful for the people who have been placed in his life during this transition because it feels like they were hand selected- from the bus driver, to his teacher, to the nurse. I feel some peace because of them and because Landon shows me all of the time that he is much stronger than I give him credit for.